Candace Machado
I remember when I used to put my value and my worth in other people.
I used to put my worth into things going right
Situations going my way
People accepting or liking me
likes, follows, and the acceptance
If I could just make everyone around me happy then I would be happy
Can you relate?
I was the ultimate people pleaser!
My worth as a human was defined by how successful I was
If i had the right answers
If i could come up with the solutions
If I could be the smart person in the room
If I could master all of those things then I would be enough
I was the ultimate chameleon!
My worth was defined by the labels, titles, and roles that I had
If I had the right degrees
If I had enough certifications
If I had the right job
If I had the right friends and connections
I would surely be enough. Right?
I was the ultimate Manipulator!
I manipulated myself into believing that if I had all of those things then I would be good enough. I became so good at the manipulation that I actually started to believe the false narratives that I would say to myself everyday. I was willing to mold, shift, and shape myself into whatever I thought I needed to be.
Cue in the quarter life crisis!
That entire manipulation narrative I built my adult life around was a lie. But could it be a lie if I was successful at it? Was any of it ever real? Yes and No. It was real in the sense that it was my truth in that moment. There was something about that narrative that I needed. I desperately needed to feel good enough. Because if I felt good enough than I didn’t have to feel like the little girl from the broken home.
The moment I realized that I was running from the little girl from the broken home was the moment that I knew I needed to heal my inner child. I needed to heal that wound. I needed to heal the little me. She was quietly reaching out her hand for my adult self to accept the vulnerable embrace.
I found love within myself again. Through the soul crushing work that we do to truly find ourselves. and heres the seven steps I found that brought me back to that deep spiritual place of being good enough.
1) Admit the ROLE that you’re playing in your life. The real honest truth of what you are allowing to occur.
2) Admit where your life CURRENTLY is at. Are you in a state of limbo or are you gliding along.
3) Admit if you are an ACTIVE PARTICIPANT in your life or are others dictating your life for you.
4) Admit to MEETING yourself where you are at, not where you want to be.
5) Admit to one thing that you are willing to COMMIT to emotional, mentally, physically, and spiritually for 21 days.
6) Admit to the idea that TIME, PATIENCE, & NO CONTROL being your best friends
7) Admit to showing yourself GRACE when you’re feeling challenged
Bonus Reflection: Anytime you are questioning your worth I want you to ask yourself if your basic needs have been met for the day before you answer!
These 7 monumental steps helped me to meet myself at the very place I was being called to heal. Now it’s time for you to meet yourself at these seven steps. Let me know what you find!